22/12/13

Ikhlas

"Ikhlas itu seperti surat Al-Ikhlas yang bahkan tidak mengandung kata "ikhlas" di dalamnya"

Well, sebenarnya aku kurang bisa menangkap makna kalimat itu. Mungkin maknanya adalah, ikhlas itu ada dalam hati. Ikhlas itu ketika kita bahkan tidak menyadari bahwa kita sedang mengikhlaskan sesuatu, karena kita begitu lapang hati atas semua yang terjadi. Sampai-sampai kita tidak sadar bahwa kita sedang dan telah ikhlas. Mungkin seperti itu.

Menurutku, keikhlasan bisa dibangun perlahan-lahan. Sedikit demi sedikit. Mungkin ada orang yang langsung bisa ikhlas ketika kehilangan sesuatu. Namun rasanya banyak pula manusia yang perlu waktu untuk berproses menuju keikhlasan. Banyak yang perlu alasan untuk menjadi ikhlas, entah keyakinannya pada Tuhan, entah karena rasa cintanya pada diri sendiri, entah karena untuk kepentingan orang lain, entah karena apapun.

Bagaimanapun tahapannya dan apapun alasannya, keikhlasan itu pasti terasa sangat membebaskan ketika telah dicapai. Ketika akhirnya kata-kata "aku ikhlas, ya Allah..." itu terucap, rasanya seperti melepaskan beban imajiner yang dipikul sekian lama. Seperti melepaskan seekor anjing yang telah meronta untuk dilepaskan tali kekangnya. Seperti melepaskan kaca mata buram yang kita pakai terlalu lama.

14/12/13

Perasaan adalah Perasaan

Perasaan adalah perasaan. Hidup bersamanya bukan kemalangan (Tere Liye, 2013).
So, I was not blaming myself, when I was running my fingers through my hair this afternoon. Just like I was about a year ago. My hair was not as smooth as it was when I was in high school. But it still is. You were right. I touch my hair, and yes. It is smooth. And I cut it short.


Perasaan adalah perasaan. Hidup bersamanya bukan kemalangan (Tere Liye, 2013).
I can now accept the fact that no matter how tiring my day is, sometimes I still feel kind of empty. No matter how many things I've been thinking of, my brain will never be too busy to try comprehending this perasaan. Sometimes I check my phone without even thinking. Then I put it down again. Unconsciously, because it was my routine. Everything was not the same, so I wonder why it is still be my routine. 


Perasaan adalah perasaan. Hidup bersamanya bukan kemalangan (Tere Liye, 2013).
People younger than me are telling me stories about their life. It hurts, not because I want to be young again like them. It hurts because I want to go back. For once, I want to be in the same life phase like they are going through right now. The most energetic times of my life, the best feeling in the world.. Times when I found out that human can experience that level of happiness. 


Perasaan adalah perasaan. Hidup bersamanya bukan kemalangan (Tere Liye, 2013).
I think I can take it all, the good and the bad, forever. But maybe I am wrong, so God Shift the way. Or so I thought. Maybe I was, and I am guilty for not trying hard. But I just can't. And I am sorry. I will not ask God for another chance anymore, because how many times He Gave me, and I messed it?


Perasaan adalah perasaan. Hidup bersamanya bukan kemalangan (Tere Liye, 2013).
So I think it is okay to write about this. Maybe, letting out the feelings, instead of suppress it, will make it better, for real. Not just better for some occasions and make it worse at another, so...


Perasaan adalah perasaan
Hidup bersamanya bukan kemalangan
Hei, bukankah dia memberikan kesadaran betapa indahnya dunia ini?
Hanya orang-orang terbaiklah yang akan menerima kabar baik
Hanya orang-orang bersabarlah yang akan menerima hadiah indah
(Tere Liye, 2013).

10/12/13

Random Thought

  • I see myself as a student and I don't have any plan to change it.
  • I used to agree with the quote "puncak rindu adalah saling mendoakan". But I don't agree with it anymore.
  • Manusia bisa bahagia dengan pilihan kedua. Sungguh. I like my job.
  • When was the last time you said "I am awesome?" For me it was on saturday when I succeed making a really tasty dishes.
  • Teach me please, I am new here.
  • Turns out that the greatest thing you can ever feel can't be bought with money, nor be sold in stores.
  • Yes, the past is the farthest from us, because we can never go back. Oh hey, do you happen to know someone who rents a time machine?
  • If you can adore a woman that is actively pursuing her career, then why can't you adore them who wants to be a great mom, who wants to be an awesome wife? Because freedom means more than just having the greatest career. Freedom is to be free to choose what we, women, want to be.
  • NO. Am I losing it?
  • Attractiveness is far beyond the looks. Far, far beyond...